my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
