Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
