a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
