hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
