i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
