I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
