Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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