I can't watch pbs sober anymore
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
