There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
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