i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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