He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
