what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So many bounce houses so little time
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
