you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
