My sheets look like a crime scene.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
