You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize