no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
