omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
