R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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