guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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