Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize