dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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