I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
