do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
