some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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