batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
