Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
