And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
