Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
