these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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