btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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