And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
