You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
