I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
