oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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