Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
