Cold hands, warm shart.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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