he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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