no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
