i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Randomize
