I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
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