Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
