Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
