So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
