so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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