It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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