I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
