Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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