Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
