There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
