I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
