What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
