I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
