im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
