margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
