Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
