My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Blood and glitter go together right?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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