I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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