just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
