It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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