i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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