Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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