very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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