I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
