Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
