So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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