We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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