just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
